Corpse Cake Santa

November 17th, 2005

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Check out the reader submissions of fantastic corpse cakes.

Christmas is coming up faster than ever! My grocery store had a sign up in October defending their practice of putting up Christmas stock so early. It's getting earlier and earlier every year and that means you need to start planning ahead.

You guys remember the Corpse Cake article, right? It was one of the most popular articles I've ever had! Well today we'll revisit it a little for some good old fashioned gruesome holiday fun.

I started a little differently this time. I made the corpse cake out of just one cake box, because I wasn't expecting enough people to justify a two cake box corpse like I made for Halloween. Split it up between the two and you'll be just fine. Mix each up according to the box directions and put a gallon of red food coloring in the "corpse" layer bowl.

There, looks great. Once they come out of the oven, put a thin layer of pudding and a thin layer of strawberry jam or jelly between the two layers. Hey check it out: he shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly! Haha! Because, see, his guts are fully of jelly! Ugh, forget it. I'm pudding you on the naughty list.

Hahhaahahhaah. Sorry.

I cut it up according to the diagram below. One of my readers gave a great tip that a cake is easier to cut cleanly if you put it in the freezer for a while first! Good thinking. Clever giiiirl..........

It actually works out pretty good. One layer each from a pair of 9"x9" square cake pans and voila, you've got your corpse layers. Much less messy than trying to float a smaller pan inside a bigger pan. I do miss the effect, but not the labor.

Hey, looking kind of recognizable there. Hey Jolly Old St Nick! How you feeling? Not so good huh? Well just you wait till I cover you in sweet smothering yuletide cheer. By which I mean frosting.

Good base layer. I hate frosting cakes so anything that makes it easier definitely helps. I microwaved the frostings for a good 45 seconds and they got really syrupy. I just poured them over the corpse and smoothed them out with a spatula. Now come the details. You're going to love this, or at least find it somewhat unsettling.

Aubrey said, "Well, I can't get mad at you because at least it's cute." hahaha YES! Loophole! Ahh the joys of Christmas cheer.

These are silver dragees. My mom gave us a small bag of them when I moved out of college. They're rare and I don't think they sell them any more because maybe some kid choked on them "back in the day." So if you know of any place to buy these traditional Christmas decorations, shoot me an e-mail or stop by the forum and let us know the scoop.

HOORAY! This is from Diane. Visit her at Cake Connection Hi Carl, As I understand it, there was apparently a lawsuit in California over the silver (gold?) Jordan Almonds a few years ago - something to do w/ the actual silver content...I'm uncertain if it was already in the works, or a direct result of the suit, but the FDA now has all silver and gold almonds and dragees classified as "non-toxic" rather than an "FDA approved food product". Now they are labeled as "Intended for decorative use only" to meet guidelines, but yes, they are still the same things that many of us used to eat as children for several years! Thanks, Diane :)

Awesome, thanks for the tip! Our Santa Corpse is almost done.
Almost.
But you know what? We're not done yet. It's never that simple here at theWAREHOUSE. I think Father Christmas needs one more finishing touch. A killing blow, if you will.

Aw, Santa, what have they done to you?! What have they DONE? Oh yeah that's right I shoved a giant candy cane in your little cakey eye. Skeet skeet! Man I hate that saying. What the heck is a "skeet skeet" anyway? I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with skeet shooting.

Glory shot! Poor old Santa Claus, felled by a sniper's candycane. The only way to preserve the magic of Christmas is to EAT HIM. Again, it would be great to make a fake cake that's just frosted ground beef. I hope you're taking notes.

Hey Rudolph, I think I saw him move! Maybe he's still ali-...er, well, forget it now. Go ahead and eviscerate that jolly old elf, he won't know what hit him.

Heh, I don't know why my cutaway shots of things are always out of focus. Oh well, but one thing is for sure: Christmas is Delicious!

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©2005 Carl Huber and any guest authors. May not be reprinted elsewhere without permission.