October 20th, 2007 |
|
Copy the line below to link to this article from your blog or forum: |
The sun is barely peeking in the window. It's cool in the bedroom, but you're warm under the blankets. You know the feeling. The feeling when you wake up after a really great night of sleep. When you just wake up fully rested and rejuvenated?
I don't.
At least, not in the last several years. Apparently I'm really rotten at sleeping.
What if I'm not a hypochondriac? What if there really is something wrong with me? You know what would be worse is if there's something wrong with me but no one can really say what it is. Come with me on my journey to a sleep clinic.
I'm seeing a neurologist - my neck vertebrae are jerks - and he tells me I get "non-restorative sleep." What that means is that even if I do sleep pretty well through the night, I'm still tired the next day. That's a feather in my cap, eh? Well, long story short, he recommended me to a sleep center to take a sleep study. And I figured, hey, I took theWAREHOUSE along when I gave blood...why not bring you guys along while I attend a sleep study?
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
Check out that bed above. That's where I was for the duration! Wiggidy-wack, yo. That hospital-looking thing on the wall? Yeah, I was about to be plugged in to that. This particular sleep-study center was in the basement of a short medical building. It was definitely disorienting taking an elevator down underground and going into a room that looked like a hotel. Oh, yeah, with the plan of getting hooked up to wires and have people watch me.
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
And watch me they did.
That camera was trained on me for the night, so they could see what position I was in, and if I was wigging out or anything. They also let me know that they could hear me - you have to ask them to come unplug you if you want to get up and use the bathroom during the night. Fantastic!
Here's what you're all really here for. Pictures of me covered in wires:
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
It takes nearly 45 minutes to get all of this stuff attached to a person. It's not comfortable. There are several electrodes on my scalp, the obvious sensors you can see on my face (the one under my nose measures my breathing), a couple on my chest, a few straps around my torso, and more sensors on each leg.
The leg sensors are to test for Jimmy Leg, aka Restless Leg Syndrome. Just about everything else is to see if I had sleep apnea. Outside of those two things, there's really not much that they can test for. Beyond that, there really aren't many specific sleep-related cock ups. It's a question of monitoring your status and giving you advice on how to better it. I guess.
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
All of the wires ended up plugging into this box, which looks disturbingly similar to an Operation gameboard. It had to stay obnoxiously close to me throughout the night due to the short wires. The box then plugged into the thing attached to the wall - which you can see in the background.
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
Here's all the ones on the back of my head. Yes I am a little light on top, but the paste for the electrodes makes it look that much worse. I suffer for you. See that thick bundle of wires running down behind my ear? Yeah, imagine having that hanging off your head all night long. Pretty awesome. How are you supposed to sleep during a sleep study? Actually I wonder if there's a mild numbing agent in the adhesive - the only attachments that were really intrustive was the one above my lip and the ones next to my eyes.
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
Here's the two sensor pads on my leg - the other leg had the same. Of course, during the study there are wires attached, running up your body, out your shirt collar, into the little special box. These pads are not fun to rip off. Between those and the ones on my chest I lost a good fistful of body hair.
SOoooo that's all well and good, but what does it mean? I laid down, the attendant talked to me through the speaker in the ceiling, we calibrated the equipment (I need you to blink for me...good) and I went to sleep. I remember moving around a little through the night, but all in all I think I slept okay.
What?
Yeah! I slept pretty okay in a medical center's basement, hooked up to wires. That means one of two things. Either I'm a genetic supersoldier bred for hand-to-hand combat and sleeping in medical facilities is second nature to me.....or......there's nothing physically wrong with me.
|
|
|
|
|
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
Above is the resulting information. Well, a brief summation of it. You can click the image for a larger version. The head nurse who was great at explaning things to me said it costs 75 cents for a copy of anything normally, but she gave this to me for free. Ahh Carl, you've still got it you old charmer.
Anyway, you see the red areas? Those are when I was in REM sleep. That's cool. It's just about perfect. A completely normal cycle of REM and standard sleep exchanges. To the left of the first one you can see how it's all jagged? That's when I was getting settled in and falling asleep. It was explained to me that it's rare when people show charts as normal as mine. Wonderful! I'm totally healthy, but I still can't sleep well.
Heart rate and oxygen levels were just fine. I had a couple incidents of apnea, but apparently everybody does. You don't actually have "sleep apnea" unless you have five or more per hour. And I didn't, so...no sleep apnea for me. Yay. And, in the last chart at the bottom, you can see that I spent the whole night either on my back or my left side.
Interesting, definitely. Useful? Not really. It was good to rule out things like sleep apnea, but now that they're ruled out, I'm left with a huge "well now what?" - I still have to find whatever it is that's preventing me from getting a good night's sleep. Environmental factors (noise? light? pets?) are a possibility. Is it something I'm eating? I already avoid caffeine, sugar and heavy foods in the evening.
The Odyssey continues. The quest for a good night's sleep is an important one. If you're one of the people who do sleep well naturally, don't take it for granted. It's a great thing.
Sleep well, theWAREHOUSE readers. Pleasant dreams.
Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep? Tell me: what's that for?
- the Barenaked Ladies.
The End
|
Syndicated