November 1st, 2008 |
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It's time for another great episode of theWAREHOUSE Thinks You're Crazy. As you may remember from previous episodes, theWAREHOUSE focused on a kooky dude and his lawn signs. Well it's time to switch it up a bit. Today's distraction still comes from signs, but not in a guy's yard. These babies are held by the hand of man. And if the spelling and grammar are better, the lunatic ranting is far, far worse. Oh, and flip down to the end for a BONUS pile of crazy, of the political persuasion.
So I'm driving home through town and what do I see, far off in the distance?
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Hmm, that's weird. It looks like some guy holding a sign for a Christmas Tree farm. Or that's what I assume based on the green triangle. Well let's take a closer look, shall we? Yes. Yes we shall.
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It's ah, uh, hum. It's a guy in a lightning tshirt holding up ridiculous sociopolitical signs.
The back of this one says "GOOGLE MASONIC CULT / THE BROTHERHOOD OF DEATH"
Alright. Reasonable. It does have another side, though. Let's take a closer look here first, though.
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I bet there's an eagle on the front of that shirt.
By the way, I like how he took the time to make the letters of GOOGLE different colors. And they're actually accurate the the real logo. Now that's crazy I can get behind.
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I only get my daily dose of conspiracy theories from a nutcase wearing a lightning tshirt.
FREEMASONY. TRAITORS OF AMERICA. I guess. So, no Christmas trees? The emblem of the Freemasons, by the way, is a compass and an architectural square. They kind of make more of a diamond than a triangle but...hey...
Weeks pass. I see this guy a couple of other times, both here and in another location. A coworker tells me she's seen him in the city, too. This guy gets around, peddling his special brand of crazy. Good for him? I've seen him with other signs. One was "AMERICA: ONE NATION UNDER SURVEILLANCE"
But I haven't seen him recently. Until...
He's back, now with extra crazy!
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Hmm his face looks weird. Let's take a closer look, and check out that sign too.
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"GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, BUSH KILLS PEOPLE" okay...fine, standard level of crazy but... is that... no, it can't be. He can't be that idiotic on top of insanity.
Is he seriously wearing one of the V for Vendetta masks that the aggressively moronic 4chan-sprouted Anonymous people wear?
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Yes, he is! Say it ain't so, Crazy Sign Guy! You're better than this!
Not to mention the fact that he was out for weeks (months) before he put on the mask, so anyone who's seen him could pick him out of a lineup. Additionally, from what is he hiding? Traditionally the Anonymous ridiculousness is more or less focused on Scientology. And I don't think I've ever seen him with a Scientologist sign. Is he really scared of retribution strikes by Free Masons, or the Bush Administration? I seriously doubt anyone would care enough. Crazy guy wearing a lightning tshirt and standing on a street corner isn't exactly the kind of thing that people take seriously.
I'm wicked disappointed, Crazy Sign Guy. You can do much better than Anonymous. When you were just you, you had a personality, a unique presence. Now I'm going to have to write you off as just ridiculous. For shame.
Interestingly, after I saw him wearing this sign, I haven't seen him since. That was over a month ago. Maybe the Scientologists really got him (hah), or maybe he just refuses to wear long pants and the cold weather got to him.
BONUS theWAREHOUSE Thinks You're Crazy material!
I don't care what your political persuasion is. This guy has 31 Flavors of crazy. The following pictures were taken at a house I pass on my way to the public market. It's next to (adjoined?) an auto repair shop. And it's the target of regular deliveries of crazy.
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Go ahead and get your hopes up. There's much more coming. But first off, check out this car. Vote McCain, yeah, whatever. But this guy has custom painted his car a bright red. He's lettered his slogan across every panel. Even crazier, the pizza/taxi sign on the roof is - I think - a call to action to Democrats to vote across the aisle. Think that would actually convince anyone?
But wait, there's more.
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McCain hubcaps!!!
The jokes make themselves: "Well that makes sense that he'd be on a hubcap; it takes so much spin for his statements to make sense anyway." or perhaps "Well that makes sense, he's probably used to the mudslinging" or even "McCain tires; thy're not all-weather, just fair-weather. But they are kind of balding."
But wait. There's still more!
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The whole house is decked out! The yard is full of signs (see to the left) and, what's that? Yes, it's the McCain Totem Pole of Republican Justice!
Team America, bitches!
Hmm but what's that between the signs in the yard and the signs on the pole?
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The McCain Presidential...chair?
Yup! The official McCain old-person rickety red chair. The Straight Talk chair.
There's never been anyone sitting in it when I've driven by, but I assume a guy dressed as Uncle Sam regularly sits there, cleaning a shotgun.
Good for him, I suppose, for getting involved in politics. But on the other hand, that's some powerful crazy right there, regardless of which candidate you support.
The End
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